Loneliness

There are times one realizes that we are rather alone. Even if surrounded by others that seem to care for us, every one has her own lonesome path to tread. Sometimes we get company for a few years but still we tread our own very private and impenetrable path. We enjoy the illusion to take the same steps with someone else and we may be taking the same steps in synchrony with our partners, but our feet hit the ground of our very own path. If we look back, we can rejoice with the memories of steps taken together, yet our footsteps, and only ours, are imprinted in the path of our life.
At some point in our lives, some of us promise to tag along with each other for ever, adhering to a cultural legacy that was possibly meant to increase the chances of survival of the group, and later was taken under the halo of romanticism. Is however a promise to tag along a common path a denial to follow your own path? And how could possibly be otherwise?

what is this thing about “Wonder Boys”?

the movie of Curtis Hanson with an impossibly melancholic music by Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, John Lennon or Van Morrison, will take you back to the story anytime you hear those tunes, and hasn’t through the years lessen its grip on me.

The weekend in the life of a literature professor Grady Trip (Michael Douglas) that opens with a vulnerable and troubled James Leer (Tobey Maguire) reading his poetry to the sarcastic candour of Hannah Green’s (Katie Holmes) closing remarks, while professor Trip recalls mentally his thoughts on them both and especially her leather boots. It is a start like a rabbit hole, and you are down it by the time the starting tune attenuates to a halt.

From there a weekend full of unexpected characters develops in a  colourful mess, yet full of humanity in all its moments. A chaos that holds only through the thin and smooth net of tenderness and compassion. And despite its catastrophic path, sums up to a positive net of goodness where all who were entangled in the story were touched in one or another way by a fairy of goodwill.

the best part comes later

very much as with preparing Panna cotta—you will have to wait a few hours to enjoy it—marrying may flourish one or two decades after the vows were given.

Alain de Botton, in his book “The course of love” takes us on a fantasy ride with Kirsten and Rabih from the moment they met, through their life, to the point, many years after they married, when they were actually ready to marry each other.

Through the book, we will soon realise that all those anxieties that constantly make our life troublesome, do not afflict us only. We are not especially doomed; everybody is. Those who haven’t yet found the love of their lives, would understand that such thing does not exist, or actually, there are thousands that could be a good enough fit. Those who just married and are puzzled by the difficulties of living together, would understand that they are doing as badly as they were expected to do. Those who fought their way through child rearing and left themselves on the process, would understand that loving a child is the true way to love. Those who searched in one night stands what they were missing, would understand why they didn’t find it there.